02 Oct ADHD, Interrupting, and Life in the Barn
If you’ve spent time with me in the barn, at a horse show, or in conversation outside the ring, you’ve probably noticed something: I sometimes interrupt. It’s not my proudest habit, and it’s not that I don’t respect others, it’s just one of the ways my ADHD shows up.
For years, I thought of it as spontaneity, but I’ve come to recognize that it’s really impulsivity. And while it can be funny at times, I also know it doesn’t always make me easy to be around. So, here’s my heartfelt apology to my trainers, barn friends, show buddies, and anyone who has ever been on the receiving end of one of my interruptions.
Why Interrupting Happens
Here are some ways it shows up in my horse world:
- Timing, what timing?
Sometimes I have what feels like a relevant question or comment, like asking about my course or chiming in on a conversation and I don’t realize that other people are deep in their own discussion. My timing can be way off. And sometimes, what they’re talking about is legitimately more important than my thought in the moment. (Not exactly a way to score social points!) - Where did I put that thing?
I’ll be the first to admit: I misplace things. My “Rice is Nice” crop, my spurs, or my bright orange coffee cup (yes, the one I lost this morning… how do you even lose something that neon?). I usually try to find things myself before asking, but when I’m frustrated or in a hurry, I’ll blurt out, “Has anyone seen my ___?” at not-the-best time. Half the time, I find it on my own later. I know it can be annoying, and I’m working on that. - Feeling like it’s urgent (even if it’s not).
At a show, I might be anxious about my course or my horse’s tack, and if my trainer or barn manager is busy with other clients, it feels like there’s never a good time to ask. From my perspective, it’s urgent. From theirs, maybe not so much. I promise, I really am trying to be patient even if it doesn’t look that way.
Of course, it also happens in everyday life: I think someone’s finished talking when they’re not, my brain makes 10 associations at once, or I worry I’ll forget a thought if I don’t say it right away. None of it comes from disinterest or rudeness. In fact, it often comes from being so tuned in that I can’t hold back.
Why It Matters
Interrupting can be frustrating for the people around me. It can feel like I’m dismissing their words or not respecting their time. That’s never my intention, but I know it’s still the impact.
So, I’m working on it. And for any of my fellow riders (or parents of riders) who see themselves in this, here are three tips that might help.
Three Tips to Interrupt Less (in the Barn or Anywhere)
- Start with awareness.
Notice when you interrupt. In the barn, you might even ask a trusted friend or trainer to give you a subtle signal when it happens. Awareness is the first step toward change. - Park the thought.
Keep a small notebook, phone note, or even a scrap of paper in your grooming tote. When you want to blurt something out, jot it down instead. That way, you don’t lose the thought and you don’t derail the moment. - Practice pausing.
Before asking your question or telling your story, silently count to three. This gives others a chance to finish and gives you a chance to gauge whether it’s the right time.
Final Thoughts
Interrupting is one of those quirks of ADHD that can make barn life a little messy. But it doesn’t mean I’m not listening or that I don’t care, usually, it’s the opposite. It means I’m engaged, invested, and sometimes just a little too eager.
So to my horse friends: thank you for your patience. I’m working on it, and I hope sharing this makes it a little easier to understand where I (and maybe other ADHD riders) are coming from.